When sadness strikes me, I feel I'm the unluckiest person in this world. I feel I'm cursed. Sometimes I feel I shouldn't be born. I never ask for it but when I'm here already, that means I've agreed with God in before-life that I'm willing to go through life's challenges and obey Him. Which I don't remember going through at all. But alhamdulillah, thank God, I have never thought of suicide or harming myself because I have faith in God. I do. Even I don't remember of making a deal with Him. Alhamdulillah.
Hard times. They are always there. Always. If you're living life easy, that means, you're never living. But why, I get things pretty easy. My life's comfortable. I get to eat. I get to drink. I get some things I really want. To list down of everything I'm thankful of, it'd be a long story. Cut it short, why on earth I get sad when a little thing happens to me? Compare to other people who only get to eat food once a week... yes, that literally happens now in another part of the World. And the horrible thing that is currently happening in Egypt now. It's just too heartbreaking. May God protect those souls and give the country freedom, ameen. Always keep Egypt in our du'as, inshaAllah.
But, doesn't that mean I can't be sad when I'm in trouble or going through a hard time? No. I deserve to be sad. I deserve to cry. But to what extent? To the extent you keep reminding yourself it all happens of reasons and keep being positive, which is extremely hard.
I give you an example, maybe this would and could apply to you too.
You want to meet your friend who lives in Kuala Lumpur for the first time. You live in Rawang. You go there by car. But you don't know the way. You try googling the map, you get it. You jot it down or you memorize. (cuz you don't have a GPS that's why bro). But you still get lost. Let's say the friend lives somewhere in Sentul, KL. You really have no clue where's Sentul and from Rawang, there's no Sentul written on the signs. (orang baru first time drive ke KL la katakan).. Then you get really nuts finding ways. Then you call your friend which way you should take and she explains it. You get it. But because your sense of direction sucks, you still cannot find it. So you take a moment to take a break and find again the way to Sentul. Oh take this road and this road and bla bla bla. And then, you get it! Alhamdulillah! You learn the hard way.
I definitely am the person who learns things the hard way. I always make mistakes and then be sad again. But I keep thanking God for putting me into those situations I've gone thru. So many things, He has shown me. So many. Life's totally a struggle. Struggle for us to be positive of anything and everything. Life's not and NEVER a bed of roses.
Nevertheless, I know, it's really, really hard to keep being positive when something unpleasant happens in your life. It's just not easy. It takes time and effort to heal. Later, it builds you as a positive human being if you are THINKING and ACTING positive. Even people around you are being massive d-bags and spreading negativity(sorry but some people have black hearts). You keep going. That's for sure. Do not mention that you want to end this life, that shows your -10000% weakness.
It doesn't matter anymore you can't remember signing up for this life (as a human being). I can't too. But I promise, if I can choose my own life, I would choose to be a cat instead. My life as a cat would be lucky or unlucky, but at least, I won't get punished in the afterlife for all the troubles I've made or the sins I've committed.
Oh why, wow. Why am I being so serious.. I guess, I was too sad, but now, I'm totally fine. I'm so grateful to God for giving me this test. I learnt another thing. Alhamdulillah. I wouldn't learn if this didn't happen. God willing, insha Allah, I'll always keep in mind to be positive.
Be happy, always keep smiling. Positive. Surely, "God does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear" (Holy Quran: 2:286).
:) :)
x
